


Honeysuckled Memories

by Darling_Rebel



Category: Avengers, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ant-Man (2015) Post-Credits Scene, Ant-Man (2015) Spoilers, Bucky's arm his caught in the machine and the government is after him, F/M, Fast Forward to present, Flashbacks, Flirty Bucky, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Fought in World War II with Steve and Bucky, Gen, Happy Ending, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Reader was born in the same time period as Steve and Bucky, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Tragic Romance, bad boy bucky, graphic descriptions of pain, grief related depression, it's up to reader to free him with your powers, lip biter bucky, nothing too too serious but I like to play things safe, reader was experimented on, thats how you got your powers, war related violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5858461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Rebel/pseuds/Darling_Rebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Post Ant Man credit scene)</p><p>You fought along your childhood friends Steve and Bucky during WW II. Everyone thought you had died a war hero but you survived and woke up in the twenty first century.<br/>The government was coming to kill the love of your life for a crime he didn't commit and it's up to you to free him from the machine his metal arm was caught in. Bucky's memories were broken and scattered to the wind so Steve tries to rejog his friend's memories by telling him stories of the past; stories about you.<br/>You prayed against all odds that Bucky remembered you..but time had truly changed everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Clocks and Faceless Lovers

 

_All monsters were once full of light_

_But it was stolen from them by despair_

_Then the darkness seeped into their veins_

_Like a deadly disease without a cure_

_And once hope betrays you_

_You can’t help but let the devils inside._

_—This is how devils are born // K.S._

_~_

_Buck,_

_Do you remember me?_

     You held your breath as you awaited his answer. Even from behind the cement wall you hid behind, you could hear the slight tremble of desperation in Steve’s voice. There was a gut-wrenching silence and you and Steve could feel each other’s hearts breaking. _‘Have we truly lost him?’_

     “Your mom’s name was Sarah.”

      Your hand flew up to cover your mouth to silence the sob that racked through your body. You shut your eyes as your knees went slack. You leaned your shaking body against the wall to keep yourself from collapsing.

     How long had it been? How long had it been since you last heard his voice? Seventy something fucking years; it really was a lifetime ago. You replayed his voice and his words over and over again, burning them into your memory. His voice was so raspy and broken. Never, in all your years of knowing him, had he sounded like that. Not after working a double shift at the docks, not even in the heat of battle. Never had his voice sounded so broken. It took every ounce of willpower not to come out of your hiding place and throw yourself into his arms.

     You knew time and torture had changed him; had changed all of you. Steve had been the only one to consent to being experimented on, you and Bucky were never given a choice.  Your hand absentmindedly traced the stab wound on your waist, the coolness of the stone next to the warmth of your skin was a reminder that you had never wanted any of this. Countless times your mind created fantasies of what could have been…

     “And you wore newspaper in your shoes.”

     Tears rolled down your cheeks as you smiled at what he remembered. Mrs. Rogers had always adored you and would always say that you were the daughter she never had. She taught you how to be a lady and how to stomach the gore of war. You bit back a laugh as you remembered that Steve would always read the newspaper before stuffing it into his shoes. No matter how many hours you and Bucky worked at the docks, a majority of your combined earnings went to Steve’s medication so money was always tight. Steve wore his father’s old shoes and used newspaper to fill in the space his skinny feet left empty.

     You could hear Steve smile in relief. His best friend since childhood remembered him; you prayed he remembered you as well…

     “Time has taken away many things from us Buck,” Steve began and you knew it was almost time.

     You wiped the tears from your cheeks then took several deep breaths to reduce the redness of your face. You were powerless to calm the racing of your heart so you let it be. You smoothed out your black lace skirt and pastel pink blouse as you anxiously waited for your cue. The clothes of this century were indescribably bizarre but you managed to find something similar to what you used to wear back before life had given the three of you the worst. You felt oddly out of place, wearing such a cute outfit in such a dreary place. You hoped your clothes would help your beloved remember you…

     “But not everything,” Steve finished; that was your cue.

     You took a deep breath then turned the corner to reveal yourself to him. Your heart shattered when you saw him. The once dashing and unbearably handsome young man you had fallen in love with was now on his knees, covered in blood, sweat, grime, and dirt. You fought back the tears that blurred your vision, _‘What have they done to you my darling?’_

     “ _Bucky,_ ” your lips barely moved as you soundlessly mouthed his name.

     “Bucky, do you remember Lacie?” Steve asked as he gently placed his large hand on the small of your back.

_‘Lacie’_ was the nickname Steve and Bucky had given you back when you were kids. It was because every article of clothing you owned had lace on it and also for the ribbon you always wore in your hair. You had given your cherished ribbon to your one and only love as a promise for him to return to you. He had intended to give it back to you as a proclamation of his love since the world was at war and there were no jewelry shops left standing but…you destroyed the memory before it caused you to break down in tears.

     “Do you remember her Buck?” Steve repeated, the desperation in his voice had returned.

      Bucky’s eyes bore into yours and you choked back a sob when you realized his answer. He didn’t need to speak, his eyes said it all.

Did he remember you?

 

_No._

 

 

 


	2. The Paradise We Once Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "…but I guess I can make an exception, since you’re my boys,” you compromised with a huge grin.

 

_I was never really insane_

_Except upon occasions_

_When my heart was touched._

_—_ _Edgar Allan Poe_

_~_

_‘He doesn’t remember me…’_

_You mourned as you allowed a single rogue tear to slide down your cheek._

     You felt Steve’s muscles stiffen when he saw the clueless and helpless look in Bucky’s eyes. Your best friend pressed his warm hand harder against your back and rubbed his thumb in circular motions in hopes of comforting you; but you were gone. Your body was an empty shell as every organ inside you shut down. The heartbreak would be your death.

     Bucky stared at the beautiful young woman in front of him. You stood in stark contrast to the rundown hellhole he was stuck in. Your prim and perfect outfit stood against the dirty and sweaty clothes the three men around you wore. He stared at you for what felt like an eternity as he scoured his broken mind for the memory of you. How could he forget a gorgeous young woman like you? He replayed Steve’s words in his head.

 _‘Remember?’_ does that mean you were from the same time period as them? And that name.

 _'Lacie’_? He knew that name from somewhere, but damn it all where?! Bucky was pulled from his thoughts when he saw a thick tear fall down your pretty face. He cursed himself for not knowing you, for making a darling girl like you cry, then he tore his eyes from yours and bowed his head in shame.

     A thick and horrid silence hung in the air as your hearts bled. Steve placed his hand on your cheek to turn your face to his, he offered a supportive smile as he wiped the free falling tears from your cheeks. You pressed your cheek into his familiar touch then held his hand close to your face as you gripped the material of his shirt. He suffered as he watched you cry. You fought by his side during the war, was shot at and stabbed, helped nurses preform nauseating surgeries on horribly mangled bodies but never, ever, had he seen you cry. Your tears were proof of just how broken you were.

     After a few more minutes of mourning, you looked up at Steve then nodded. He had brought you here for a reason. Steve had wanted the reunion between you and Bucky to be magical and put Hollywood’s romance movies to shame, but life had had different plans. Bucky had his metal arm caught in a machine and the government was coming to kill him for a crime he didn’t commit. You were Bucky’s only chance of making it out alive.

    "Buck,” Steve called and Bucky raised his head to look at his long lost friend. You fought back tears when he refused to make eye contact with you.

     “They’re coming for you, we need to get you out of here. Lacie is going to free your arm, just hold still okay?” Steve explained as Bucky continued to avoid your eyes.

     The ex-assassin didn’t know how a pretty girl like you could free his arm, but he trusted in his friend’s words. That and he had no other choice than to do as Steve said.

     You looked at Bucky as you slowly approached him. He bowed his head lower to avoid your sorrowful eyes. He meant a lot to you, he didn’t know why nor could he remember you. The shame he felt was indescribable. He wasn’t the man you used to know, he was a wanted criminal and was responsible for the death of thousands. In his eyes you were immaculate but his hands were stained with blood and he reeked of death

_‘I don’t deserve someone like her’._

     Steve walked behind you as the two of you slowly approached the broken man. The blonde understood Bucky’s shame but wished he’d at least look at you; the love of Bucky’s life. You soothed then tucked your skirt behind your knees as you knelt down in front of the shameful man. He could feel your glossy eyes roam over his dirty form and could smell the sweetness radiating from your body.

     “Lacie’s going to start Bucky, just hold still,” Steve slowly instructed. He would carefully explain everything so that the trapped man wouldn’t get spooked.

     Unfortunately, Steve forgot to mention how you were going to get his arm out of the machine. You decided to show Bucky your powers. Since he didn’t remember you, you knew he’d be scared once he witnessed it.

     “Look,” you gently requested as you held out your hands for Bucky to see.

     Bucky raised his head to look at your hands only to jerk away in fear when a thick layer of black rock appeared and covered your hands, then extended from your fingertips to form long, horrifically sharp claws. He had only seen things like this in his nightmares about monsters and demons; but you were neither.

     “Please don’t be afraid. It’s Obsidian, an opaque volcanic glassic rock. It’s part of me, the mineral runs through my veins. I have the ability to control it and cover my body with it,” you softly explained to the terrified man as you held out your hands for him to see.

     You didn’t blame him for being afraid, you yourself had been afraid of your powers when you first got them. But during the war you had grown to accept, and sometimes love it. Your mighty claws easily sliced through the steel walls of Hydra’s bases, tore they’re heavy tanks to shreds, and the ability to cover your body in the obsidian rock had saved you from countless fatal injuries.

     “Lacie is like us…but different. She wasn’t injected with the super soldier serum. They did horrible things to her, worse than they did to us…” Steve explained in a heavy tone and cursed the monsters who did this to you.

     You were about to retract your hands when you suddenly felt Bucky lightly touch one of your black claws. Your face twisted in sorrowful happiness, how long had it been since the man you loved had touched you? You missed many things from the past but his touch was what you missed the most. A broken smile stretched across your face as you recalled the countless times he had touched. No matter how many times he did, you always hungered for more. You remember the roughness of his hands from the countless hours of manual labor at the docks and the comforting warmth that constantly radiated from them.

     Bucky cautiously touched the sharp ebony stone that covered your hands, you understood why he was afraid. Everyone had been afraid of you but respected you for your invaluable fighting skills. You were a huge contributor to the fall of the Hydra bases in Europe seventy years ago. As Bucky continued to stroke your jagged claws, you zoned out and relived memories of the past…

 

 

_“Oh come on doll don’t be like that,” Bucky whined as he leaned against the brightly colored countertop._

_The merriment and liveliness of the diner was contagious but you did your best to act annoyed at your friend’s horrible attempts to woo you. You exaggeratedly rolled your eyes at him as you took another sip of your root beer float and crossed your legs, nonverbally stating that you weren’t going to get up off of the bar stool anytime soon._

_“Please (Y/N), just one dance,” the handsome brunette pled as he hung his head back._

_He was practically irresistible in his dashing outing clothes and styled hair but you were able to (somehow) keep your composure and stand your ground._

_"The jukebox has been playing nonstop since we got here and it’s already played three of your favorite songs!” Bucky tried to reason but his words went in one ear and out the other._

_You purposely kept your eyes from meeting his. You could feel him looking at you with his irresistible puppy eyes and he knew that was your one weakness._

_“I’m sorry Bucky darling, truly I am, but I can’t dance with a man who is younger than me!” you exclaimed in a theatrical voice as you batted your eyelashes at him and pursed your lip (that was your only way to counter his puppy eyes)._

_“Only by one week (Y/N) come on!” Bucky groaned when you used your most favorite (and his least) excuse for turning him down. You bit back a laugh when you saw how your tease affected him. It worked every time._

_“Leave the lady alone jerk she already said ‘no’!” Steve teased his best friend from his stool next to yours._

_Bucky narrowed his eyes at the blonde then playfully scowled in an ‘intimidating’ manner. Steve mocked a fearful expression but knew that Bucky would never hurt him. You put yourself between them to carry on the joke._

_“Now now you two, no need to get rough. Both of you are far too young for me…but I guess I can make an exception, since you’re my boys,” you compromised with a huge grin._

_You placed your arms around them and pulled them close to you. The three of you laughed then you placed a kiss on each of their cheeks. Steve being the bashful soul he was, blushed and Bucky…being Bucky, tried to turn his head so you would kiss his lips. You had anticipated his cheekiness and slapped his shoulder._

_“What? No kiss for me? Aw come on (Y/N) don’t be like that,” Bucky complained as he cocked his head back and slightly bit his lip. ‘Bad Boy Bucky’ was also one of your weaknesses but you managed to stand your ground._

_“You’ll get a kiss when you learn how to behave Mr. Barnes,” you scolded in a teasing manner as you tugged at Steve’s arm and headed for the dancefloor._

_“Come on Steve! Dance with me!”_

_Steve chuckled then shook his head, “Nah, I think I’ll sit this one out (Y/N),” he politely declined in a humble tone._

_“But it’s my favorite song! Please Steve, what are you waiting for?” you asked in a soft and concerned voice._

_“The right partner.”_

_You smiled at the blonde. ‘The girl you marry is going to be the most treasured woman on the face of the planet,’ you thought to yourself._

_“Looks like it’s just you and me doll,” Bucky charmed as he gently took your hand in his larger one. You shook your head then laughed._

_"You just don’t know when to give up do you Barnes?” you lightly teased._

_“On you doll? Never,” he smiled as he placed a gentle kiss on your hand._

_The rest of the night was filled with laughter and merriment. Bucky was a phenomenal dancer and you prided yourself in being able to keep up with him. Your long lace skirt swirled and flared around your legs as you dance to the upbeat music. You held Bucky’s hands through every dance and only broke apart when he twirled and dipped you. Your steps were in perfect rhythm with every song and eventually everyone on the dancefloor stopped to form a circle around the two of you and watch in amazement. You smiled and laughed throughout the entire night till your cheeks were flushed and sore. Bucky’s eyes never left you. Your laughter was music to his ears and your joy was so contagious by the end of the night his cheeks were sore as well. Bucky would gladly spend the rest of his days on the dancefloor with you as his partner._

_You only stopped dancing when the owner and his wife closed the diner. The owner had known you and your boys since the three of you were kid. He put a coin from his own pocket in the jukebox and asked you and Bucky to dance one last time. Steve, the owner, and his wife watched in delight as you and Bucky gave it your all in your last dance of the night._

_When the song finished Bucky dipped you. You were panting in his arms and your hands rested on his chest. You could feel his heart hammering against his rib cage as he tried to catch his breath. He gazed into your eyes then his smile slowly faded. You were alarmed at first then recognized the longing and adoration in his eyes. His tempting lips parted and you knew it wasn’t only to help him slow his breathing. You felt your body tremble under his glazed eyes and a blush stained your cheeks. Time slowed and the world cease to exist as Bucky stared at you with half lidded eyes and slowly lowered himself towards you. His lips were inches away from yours when a sudden burst of applause snapped the two of you back to reality. Bucky pulled you to your feet and you bashfully tucked a flyaway back into your updo as you smiled at your ‘audience’. You gave a silly curtsy in thanks as Bucky watched your flustered and smiling face from the corner of his watchful eye._

_The three of you thanked the owner and wished him a goodnight as you left the diner. The night air had a chill to it and you couldn’t help but shiver. Seeing your discomfort, both Bucky and Steve shed their jackets and gave them to you. You laughed and offered your thanks as they helped you put the jackets on._

_“Oh Lacie, where would you be without us?” Steve teased as he smoothed out the wrinkles of the two jackets you now wore._

_A giggle left you as you put your arms around their necks and pulled them close to you. You kissed Steve’s cheek then surprised Bucky with a quick peck on the side of his lips. When you looked away, Bucky touched where the warmth of your lips lingered. It wasn’t a full kiss but he was overjoyed none the less. A blush dusted his cheeks as he openly admired your beautiful face. You laughed one last time before pulling them close to you once again._

_“I have no idea where I’d be without my boys.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New series woot! This was originally a one shot with the prompt (I'll tell you those later bc I don't want to give away any spoilers!) but it turned out to be 40 pages (and counting) so I was like, "¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ looks like it's time to post a new series!"  
> Hope you liked it! More is on the way!  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought!! :DD


	3. Ill-Fated Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You two okay?” you asked in concern. Still in shock, Steve and Bucky quickly nodded. They were terrified of meeting the same fate as the bleeding boy on the ground.

 

_“Come away, O human child!_

_To the waters and the wild_

_With a faery, hand in hand,_

_For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.”_

_― W.B. Yeats, The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats_

_~_

 

_It was the hot tears stinging your eyes that brought you back to your cruel reality._

     The days of laughter and merriness and dancing were taken from you and you knew you could only relive those precious moments in your dreams. There was no going back. This was now your life and all you could do was accept your fate. You and your boys were completely different people; broken, traumatized, and numb. The worst part was that nothing could heal the wounds life had dealt you.

     When Bucky had familiarized himself and felt comfortable with your deathly sharp and mighty claws, he quickly retracted his hand then returned his gaze to the cold ground. Your once charming and cheeky Bucky had been taken from you and all that was left of him was the tortured and broken soul that knelt before you. But regardless of who he was now he was still your Bucky and you loved him nonetheless.

     “I’m going to take a closer look, hold still ‘kay?” you instructed in a small and quiet voice.

     Bucky nodded. He still refused to make eye contact with you. It ripped the flesh from your bleeding heart but you forced yourself to focus on getting his arm out of the machine. His _metal_ arm.

_‘What have they done to you my love?’_

You scooted over to examine the machine and where his arm had been caught. It wasn’t going to be easy, one small slip of your finger and his arm would be destroyed. The stakes were high but you had faith in yourself and your abilities. You moved closer to the machine and Bucky’s arm to see what you could touch and what you needed to avoid.

     Bucky looked at you from the corner of his eyes as he took in every detail of you. He tore his mind apart as he searched for the memory of you. You were there, you were there somewhere in his memories he just knew it. He could feel the memory of you just within reach but when he chased after the memory it disappeared, vanished. Bucky managed not to flinch when you twisted your fingers in a bizarre manner then your black claws grew longer and sharper. You could shred a steel wall to ribbons without breaking a sweat. He didn’t want to know what you could do to human flesh…

     You had abandoned your original plan after seeing the problem up close. Steve had done his best to describe it but his description wasn’t the same as seeing it up close. You quickly formed another plan. You were going to push back the metal of the machine so that after you were done, all Bucky had to do was remove his arm from its captivity. In some places you’d have to cut the metal of the machine but that wasn’t a problem. Precision and concertation was the key to successfully saving the love of your life but even then it wasn’t going to be easy. The government’s soldiers were on their way so you had to work as quickly as possible. The stakes were high but you would save and protect Bucky at all costs. You weren’t going to lose him again.

     “I’m going to start now, just hold still alright?” you softly informed and only proceeded when Bucky had given you a small nod

     He still refused to look at you. You ignored your bleeding heart and nodded at Steve. He stood behind you and held a flashlight so that you could see what you were doing. You scooted closer and began the procedure. 

     With the needle-like tips of your ebony claws, you inserted a single finger in the first small gap and began to push back the metal surrounding Bucky’s arm while being extremely careful not to slice the metal. You didn’t know what the machine was used for and cutting into its metal could result in the destruction of Bucky’s arm.

     Other than the sound of metal being bent, the room was silent. All your attention was on the procedure and nothing else existed to you. Steve could feel the aura of concentration around you and recalled all the times you had been in a similar state of mind. His memories wondered to the times where the three of you were young and carefree. The super soldier looked over to look at Bucky and could sense the mixture of negative emotions his friend was battling with. Steve had promised to never let Bucky suffer alone, it was because of his promise that he spoke.

      “You, me, and Lacie have been best friends since we were kids,” Steve remarked with a smile.

       His words made Bucky look up at him. A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you recalled the day you had met your boys…

 

 

_Everyone in the neighborhood knew Steve as ‘the boy who could start fights but never finish them’. He hated bullies and while his intentions were good, the outcome never was._

_Steve had gotten himself into yet again another fight and Bucky joined in to save his trouble-prone friend. Unfortunately, this time Steve had bitten off way more than he could chew. It was six boys against the two of them and the fight was going downhill for Steve and Bucky. An older bully held Bucky by his shirt and rose his fist to punch the brunettes face but the hit never came. The fight was at its worst when a voice rose above the yelling of the boys._

_“Hey! Leave him alone!” a voice bellowed._

_All the boys stopped their fighting to turn to the voice. It belonged to a girl (around Bucky and Steve’s age) standing at the entrance of the alley. Your lace trimmed lavender dress stood in stark contrast with the dreariness of the wet alley. You held a pretty porcelain doll in your tiny hand and the pretty lace ribbon in your styled hair did nothing to lessen the death glare you gave the bullies._

_The oldest bully who had been holding Bucky by the collar pushed the beaten brunette down and cockily stalked towards you. Bucky and Steve ran to your aid but the rest of the boys held them back._

_“Why should I listen to you? You’re a girl and I don’t listen to stupid girls,” he mocked and you continued to glare up at him._

_"Girls are weak! Everything they do is dumb! And that’s what you are! Just a stupid little gi-“_

_You swung your porcelain doll into the side of his head before he could finish._

_A sickening **CRACK** resonated through the alley as the oldest bully fell to your feet. You had knocked him unconscious and looked down at him as blood began to come from the massive purple bruise you had given him._

_"I’m sorry what were you saying about girls being weak?” you sweetly asked before you kicked his head._

_All the boys had frozen in place when they had witnessed what they thought was a murder. Steve and Bucky stared at you with open mouths while the other boys trembled in fear. You spat on the unconscious body of the boy then lifted your head to glare at the rest of the bullies. All of them (including Steve and Bucky) flinched when your eyes fell upon them. You intensified your glare as you stomped on your victim’s body then walked over him._

_Before your foot could touch the ground, the bullies bolted out of the alley. Most of them called for their mothers. You waited till the last hostile boy left the alley before you turned to the blonde and brunette who had been beaten. They both froze in place as you pranced towards them. Your innocent aura contradicted your previous actions which made you all the more terrifying._

_“You two okay?” you asked in concern. Still in shock, Steve and Bucky quickly nodded. They were terrified of meeting the same fate as the bleeding boy on the ground._

_“Good. Here, lemme help ya up,” you offered as you outstretched your small hand._

_At first they didn’t move. But after looking at the now faceless doll you held in your hand and the probably dead boy a few feet away, Steve and Bucky took you up on your offer._

_You smiled as you helped them. Once they were standing, you brushed off the dirt on their clothes._

_“Ya got beaten up pretty bad huh?” you remarked in a concerned tone._

_"I’ve had worse,” Steve embarrassingly murmured as he looked down and kicked a rock that was near his foot._

_“You okay? Looks like ya got the worst of it,” you gently remarked as you softly touched Bucky’s cheeks._

_His eyes widened at your touch and he felt his cheeks flush. You smiled at the boys. Then you put your faceless doll under your arm and grabbed their hands._

_“Come on boys. I’ll take ya tuh my Mama, she’ll fix ya right up,” you beamed as you led them out of the alley._

_The boy you had knocked out was indeed alive and groaned as he stirred. When you came to him you stomped your foot on his stomach before walking over him while Bucky and Steve walked around him. You heard the bully cry but ignored him._

_Bucky had always thought that romance was icky but as he gazed at you, an adorable girl who knocked out a boy twice her size, he knew he was head over heels in love with you._

_But fate had never been kind to lovers._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking of putting a '~' between the present and memories but I'm not too sure about it. I feel like it'd be too choppy and the story wouldn't flow as easily. What do you think? :3c  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!! :DD


	4. A Pretty Grave for Our Happy Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “James Buchanan Barnes you’re crazy,” you laughed as you continued shaking your head.  
> “Only for you doll. Only for you.”

 

_“We are nothing but shadows_

_Fading away_

_Trying to hold on to_

_This bittersweet life_

_That we call our own...”_

_― Ricky Mears_

_~_

 

     The memories of your younger days pulled at a thread of your bleeding heart. Recalling the happiness of the past hurt you and Steve but you hoped that they would help Bucky remember more of his past and more importantly; you.

     You still had a while to go. Bucky’s metal arm was tangled in the gears of the machine and the process of freeing him was going to take longer than you had anticipated. You knew you had to work fast, they were coming for him. Your heart raced at the thought of the government capturing him but you’d never let that happen. Steve’s voice soothed your stress as he continued to speak about the past.

     “We would always get into fights with the other kids,” the troublemaker recalled with a laugh.

      “Well _I_ would start the fights then Lacie would end it or you would pull us both out,” Steve quickly corrected himself.

     You softly smiled to yourself. The sickly boy from Brooklyn had never grown out of standing up for what was right then getting the living daylights beaten out of him just as you and Bucky had never grown out of saving him. The only thing that changed was how beautiful you looked while slamming your fist into the face of an attacker.

     “When our parents left to join the war, it was just the three of us. We all moved in into your place since money was scarce. You and Lacie both went to work since I was always sick and we needed money for the medicine I needed.” Steve explained to his childhood friend. His voice had grown sober as he recalled the difficult times. A treasured memory resurface which made Steve lightly chuckle.

     “We used to go visit Lacie when she worked at the diners. But she could never hold a job, she got fired from every diner in town for beating up grabby men,” Steve laughed and you couldn’t help but smile. Those damn perverts had it coming.

     “So she went to work at the docks with you.”

 

 

_Because of the war, jobs were difficult to find and since you had been fired from every diner in town, you had a bad rep. It was because of this that you decided to work with Bucky at the docks. Knowing that the employer of the docks would never hire a woman, you knew you had to dress as a man. It was uncomfortable, but you binded your breasts and wore one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of his pants. Both were loose on you and would hide your womanly curves. You snatched one of Steve’s hats and hid your hair in it. You kept your lace ribbon in your hair but made sure it was completely hidden. Once you were satisfied with your disguise, you wrote a note to Steve, lying that you were going to the grocery store. Then you snuck out of the house and headed for the docks._

_Your disguise worked and the employer of the docks hired you on the spot. You hung your head low and avoided making eye contact with the other workers. You also avoided speaking but deepened your voice when you had to._

_Everything was going perfectly until you saw Bucky walking towards you while carrying a heavy crate. His sleeves were rolled up and his shirt was half way unbuttoned. The muscles of his toned arms constricted as he carried the heavy crate and the thin layer of sweat that covered his broad chest made his pecs glisten in the light of the rising sun. It was like something out of one of those corny romance movies you always made fun of. You shamelessly gaped at him with your lips slightly parted and a bright red blush on your cheeks._

_The center of your attention (and all your fantasies) groaned in relief when he set down the heavy crate in its designated place. Your knees trembled when he tilted his head back and exposed his throat as he slicked back his hair. It was a crime to be that handsome._

_You froze in place when his eyes fell on you. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you in shock but you quickly scampered away before he could say or do anything._

_Bucky immediately recognized you when you had turned your back to him. Your lace ribbon was peeking out from your hat and he had memorized what your bottom looked like (from his hours of shameless staring). He said nothing, not wanting to draw any attention. That, and he knew you’d kill him if he said or did anything to keep you from working._

_You tirelessly worked from dawn till dusk and avoided taking any breaks since you were afraid that one of the workers might realize you were a woman. Once your shift had ended, you were paid for your labor then ran home. Every muscle in your body screamed at you to rest but you ignored them. You were eager to make it home before night and before Steve and Bucky came looking for you._

_Taking the key from Steve’s ‘special’ hiding place (which was underneath a damn cement brick), you looked around before placing the key into the lock. You only entered through the front door while Steve and Bucky only went through the back in order to avoid gossip from the neighbors._ _Silently closing the door behind you, you snuck into the old apartment unnoticed. You slipped into your room, undressed then headed for the shower. The water was ice cold since there was no money to buy something as luxurious as a water heater but all you cared about was scrubbing the sweat and grime from your skin._

_Once you had finished, you slipped into your lavender night gown. The dampness of the house plus the freezing shower had you shaking like a leaf. You wrapped an old quilt around your shoulders then headed for the kitchen to make yourself a hot cup of tea._

_When the kettle sung, you poured your tea and headed for the kitchen table but stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Bucky sitting at the other end of the table reading the paper. He seemed to have sensed your (anxious) presence and tilted the newspaper back to sneak a peek at you. He gave you an exaggerated and ‘innocent’ grin and in return you gave him a lopsided, sheepish, caught-red-handed smile. Your lips twitched in anxiety as you hoped he really hadn’t recognized you. Bucky gave you one last smile before he pulled up the paper and returned to his reading._

_You awkwardly seated yourself in the chair across from him and cringed at the unbearable moments of silence that followed._

_"You look amazing in pants,” Bucky complimented from behind his paper._

_Your eyes widened and you smiled uncontrollably when you knew exactly what he liked about seeing you in pants. You bursted into a fit of laughter at his cheeky compliment and eventually Bucky pushed down his paper and grinned as he shared your merriment. He winked at you as his smile grew and you shook your head at his shameless flirtation._

_“ James Buchanan Barnes you’re crazy,” you laughed as you continued shaking your head._

_"Only for you doll. Only for you.”_

 

     “Money was always tight, but we had each other and that’s all we needed,” Steve softly recalled with a smile.

     Bucky had been listening intently to Steve’s recollection of the past; his past. The trapped man had difficulty imagining that at one point in his life he had been happy. He could vaguely remember certain memories. Some of his childhood and some of Steve, but he had no memories of you. Bucky glanced at you from the corner of his eye. How could he not remember you? You were the most beautiful human being he had ever laid eyes on and according to everything Steve had said, the two of you had obviously been more than friends. Your brows were slightly furrowed but other than that your expression was completely blank. Your eyes were dead and glazed with unshed tears. Bucky felt a stab of guilt in his chest because he knew he had done this to you. He shamefully returned his gaze to the floor and scoured his broken mind for a memory of you. Just one would be enough for him. The sound of your laugh, the sight of you smiling, the warm touch of your skin, anything! But his mind was blank.

     Steve could feel the shame radiating from his trapped friend and knew he had to keep trying to jog Bucky’s memories. As much as Steve wanted to keep talking about the happiness of the past, he decided to talk about the bad. It would be painful for both you and he but maybe it would help Bucky.

     “When our parents died, everything changed” Steve somberly recollected.

 

 

_You never thought a trip to the mailbox could change your life forever. You opened the door to the small and ramshackle apartment you shared with your boys. They were sitting on the old thread beaten couch and cheerfully greeted you when you had entered but their merriness vanished when they saw thick tears forming in your eyes._

_They rushed to your side and before they could ask you what was wrong, you showed them three letters of condolence. There was one for each of you, saying that your parents had died in the war._

_A small funeral was held. It was over shortly after it began since the caskets were empty. You were too numb to feel anything. The only thing you remembered was Bucky wrapping his warm arms around your numb body and promising that you’d never have to wear a black dress and mourning veil ever again._

_“I’ll never leave your side (Y/N). Never,” he swore as he held you in his arms._

_He had kept his word,_

_Until…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your support!! ｡ﾟ✶ฺ.ヽ(*´∀`*)ﾉ.✶ฺﾟ｡  
> Regarding the chpt:  
> -I've decided to put 2 spaces between the present and the memories just fyi and thank you SO MUCH to the cutie that helped me decide~!!  
> -Bucky loves your booty ;D  
> Next chpt will be posted ASAP! I'm working on some more one shots/TTAFH/TDWS too so I'm juggling a lot of stories! @A@;;


	5. A Tear and Kiss for Every Good-Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was going to leave at dawn so he wouldn’t have time to say goodbye to you. He knew if he held you in his arms, he’d never let you go.

 

_‘How to kill someone:_

_Fill them with love,_

_Then leave’_

_-Unknown_

_~_

 

     “Then the war came,” Steve gravely recalled. Your face twisted in pain as memories from that horrid time of your life came pouring in.

     “You were drafted,” Steve informed as he looked down at Bucky. You bit the inside of your cheek to the point of drawing blood to keep the thick tears forming in your eyes from falling.

 

 

_Who knew doing the laundry could lead to such a life changing event. Time stopped when you found the draft documents in the pocket of Bucky’s jacket. Your vision blurred and you felt dizzy as you read everything on the papers. His division, his orders, the date of his deployment, where they were sending him, the whole nine yards. The date he received his orders was exactly five days ago, but Bucky had said nothing. He acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but then you recalled he had recently been working overtime at the docks. He was probably trying to save up so you and Steve could have money to buy food and medicine. The air was sucked from your lungs when you read the date of his deployment; tomorrow._

_A flame of rage burned inside you, why hadn’t he told you?! Was he just going to disappear and leave you and Steve without even saying goodbye?! You wanted nothing more than to slap the shit out of Bucky, but your anger soon turned to sorrow and fear. What was life going to be like without your Bucky? You had been inseparable since childhood and you didn’t know what you’d do without him. Panic and anxiety ate away at your insides. You felt your world burn but you refused to watch it turn to ash. You’d never let him leave, you had to find him and make him stay._

_With that in mind, you ran through the house and when he wasn’t there, you threw on your coat and bolted out the door. You ran like a maniac with tears pouring down your cheeks as you sprinted down every street and into every shop but he was nowhere to be found. Everyone you came across gave you sympathetic looks, they knew the reason behind your hysteria._

_After hours and hours of desperately searching, night had fallen and you still hadn’t found him. Your feet were bleeding and your head was spinning but you refused to give up. Another hour past and still you hadn’t found him. Broken and frustrated, you fell to your knees and openly wept in the middle of the darkened street. Had he already left? Did he really leave without saying goodbye? Would you ever see him again? The torturous questions only increased the intensity of your wails as your heart openly bled._

_Once your tears had been spent, you decided to head home to treat the scrapes on your hands and knees and tend to your bleeding feet. As soon as you patched yourself up you’d head back out to look for Bucky._

_You limped home and your knees finally gave out once you had stepped through the door. A soft cry left your lips but you rose to your feet, stubbornly refusing to give into the pain. You had to find him. You had to find your Bu-_

_You froze dead in your tracks when you saw him standing in the threshold of his room. Bucky’s eyes widened in horror when he saw your bleeding knees, messy hair, and torn dress. Shame ripped at his heart and he quickly looked down, not having the courage to look you in the eye. He was going to leave at dawn so he wouldn’t have time to say goodbye to you. He knew if he held you in his arms, he’d never let you go._

_You hated that uniform. It was ill-fitting, too big for him, and was probably the only uniform they had left since Bucky had been drafted so late. That damn uniform didn’t belong on him. Bucky was many things but a soldier wasn’t one of them._

_Bucky’s face twisted in pain as he tightly shut his eyes and lowered his head. He could feel your eyes roaming up and down his uniformed body and didn’t have the guts to look at you as you stared at him like a deer to headlights. He wanted you to yell at him, to slap him across the face, curse at him, ANYTHING to break the agonizing silence that hung heavy in the air. The guilty man froze in place when he heard you walk towards him and braced himself for the outburst he deserved; but it never came._

_“All these years and you still can’t tie a tie properly,” you chuckled in a small voice as you reached out and began to redo his black tie._

_Bucky clenched his teeth as you gently redid his tie then smoothed out the front of his uniform coat. Your hands rested on his broad chest and he could feel your warmth seep through the material of his uniform and onto his skin. He heard you softly giggle and burned the melodious sound into his mind so that he could replay it again and again when he entered the hell awaiting him._

_“You missed a spot,” you gently teased as you reached up and smoothed out a section of his hair that he had failed to gel back. Bucky melted into your touch then took your hand in his and desperately kissed your palm._

_You were taken by surprise and softly gasped when you were suddenly yanked forward. Your body collided into a strong chest and a pair of familiar arms tightly wrapped around you. Bucky buried his face into your hair as he cupped the back of your head with one hand and the other constricted around your waist. You broke down in his arms and let the burning tears freely fall from your face. Bucky kept you close to his body as he scooped you into his arms, walked to the old couch, then sat down with you in his lap. If the neighbors saw the two of you in such a position, they’d gossip their lips raw but neither of you cared._

_Once your tears had been spent and your body had calmed, Bucky pulled back then cupped your face. The roughness and warmth of his hands was so familiar, so comforting. You never wanted to be without his touch._

_“(Y/N), the reason I didn’t tell you was because I knew if I held you in my arms, I wouldn’t be able to let you go,” Bucky confessed. His voice broke in the middle of his sentence and he did nothing to contain his emotions._

_You said nothing in return. You pulled him closer to you and hoped your actions could convey what words could not. The two of you tightly held each other as you openly wept. He whispered apology after apology. You knew he didn’t want to go and you knew there was nothing you could do to make him stay._

_After hours of crying in his arms, you suddenly felt yourself drifting asleep. Your exhausted body went limp in Bucky’s arms, his warmth soothed you and you emitted a soft whine when you felt him pull you from him. He laid you down on the couch and leaned over you, staring down at your sleeping form. Bucky slowly leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips. His lips lingered on yours and he reluctantly pulled away. The brunette placed a blanket over your sleeping form then kissed you one last time before heading to..._

_You jolted awake when you felt his presence leave the room. Tears formed in your bloodshot eyes as you quickly scanned the room and you exhaled a shaky sigh of relief when you saw a glow of light coming from his room. You went into your room to tend to your minor wounds and change into your night clothes, then wrapped Mrs. Roger’s old shawl around you and headed to the kitchen. You made Bucky a cup of his favorite tea, then headed to his room._

_You stood in the doorway and watched him as he neatly placed what little belongings he had into his suitcase. Your feet lightly tapped against the cold wooden floor as you entered his room then sat on the edge of his bed to watch him. Bucky glanced up at you to smile then quickly went back to folding his clothes. His shaking hands made it difficult to fold his shirt so you placed your hands on top of his and guided him. Bucky shivered at the warmth of your hands as he bit the inside of his lip. You felt every muscle in his body tense as you ghosted your hands up his body then cupped his cheeks. Your touch drove him insane. He loved it but it hurt him, knowing that this could be the last time he ever felt the warmth of your skin. Bucky melted into your touch and savored the softness of your hands._

_“Bucky,” you cooed as you turned his face to look at you, “my darling.”_

_He slowly opened his teary eyes to look at you. You knew he was trying to be strong but the last thing you wanted was for him to suffer alone and in silence._

_“Cry.”_

_That one word broke him. Before you had time to react, you were dipped back on the bed and Bucky’s lips crashed onto yours. One of his rough hands cupped the back of your head while the other laid flat on the bed to support you. You melted as Bucky’s lips molded into yours. He was gentle at first, savoring every inch of your lips then his kiss began to crescendo in passion. He set you ablaze with desire and when he parted your lips and slipped his tongue inside your mouth the sound you made was borderline erotic. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your fingers through his hair. Nothing in the world existed except you and Bucky.  All the pent up passion and desire broke the dam of self-control as he shamelessly savored you and you enjoyed every second of it. You slowly pushed his uniform jacket off his shoulders as your desire grew for him._

_But the blazing passion was slowly dowsed by the tears that rolled down his handsome face. You felt his tears then placed one final lingering kiss on his lips before pulling away. You wiped his tears away with your thumb then kissed his eyelids. Bucky opened his eyes and gazed at your flustered face glowing in the warm light of the oil lantern. He mesmerized every detail of you and touched your face and hands again and again to make sure that he could never forget their warmth and softness._

_Wanting to ease his pain, you slowly pulled him down so he could lay on top of you. It was an immodest position but neither of you cared. While cupping his cheeks, you slowly pulled his head to your chest and held him in a comforting embrace. It was your turn to comfort him._

_Bucky snaked his arms under your waist to hold you in a crushing embrace, he held on to you as if you were his lifeline._

_“ I tried (Y/N),” he confessed in a trembling voice, his words were muffled from having his face buried in your chest._

_“Shhh Bucky. I know, I know,” you comforted as you stroked his hair, fixing the areas you had tousled._

_“I filled out every form I could get my hands on. I listed you as my wife and Steve as our kid and countless reasons why you needed me to stay. But they turned every form down,” Bucky explained as he buried his face deeper into your chest and held you tighter._

_You lovingly stroked his hair and did everything you could to sooth and calm him. When his body relaxed, you finally let out a laugh. Bucky lifted his head from your chest and looked at you in confusion._

_“Listing Steve as our child wasn’t a complete lie considering how much of a handful he is,” you jested with another laugh. Your lighthearted joke eased the tension in the room and Bucky echoed your laugh._

_Your emotions had drained you and a few short moments later you felt yourself drifting off. You stirred and you opened your eyes only to see Bucky looming over you, straddling your body._

_“(Y/N),” he softly whispered._

_“Will you spend the night with me?” Bucky gently asked as he gazed into your eyes, a thousand emotions reflected in his azure orbs but lust wasn’t one of them. As cheeky and flirtatious as he was, Bucky was an honorable gentleman._

_“For you doll? Anything,” you softly echoed his favorite line to use on you with a genuine smile._

_Bucky’s smile stretched ear to ear when he recognized your tease. He laughed then kissed both of your cheeks before getting up and leaving to the other room to change into his night clothes. You grabbed a quilt blanket from your room and when Bucky returned, the two of you laid down and you snuggled into the warmth radiating from his body._

_Bucky turned you to face him, and for the next hour, confessed everything he loved about you. Between every revelation, he placed a kiss on your forehead. You finally lost control of your desire and gave him a full kiss on the lips. The love of your life smiled and took it as permission to kiss you on the lips instead of your forehead (which he was thrilled about). His tender confessions and the warmth of his body lulled you to sleep. For the entire night, the two of you held each other, pretending that time had stopped and nothing in the world existed aside from each other._

 

_Dawn came too soon for Bucky. He clenched his teeth and his heart bled when he reluctantly acknowledged that it was time for him to leave. The soon to be soldier looked down at your sleeping form then kissed the exposed flesh of your neck. Had life gone the way he had wanted, he would have married you and pleasured you senseless every night for the rest of his days (just like in his fantasies)._

_‘When I get back,” he silently promised your sleeping form. He kissed your neck one last time before getting up and dressing himself._

_Once he was dressed, Bucky walked over to the bed and kissed you one last time. Bucky’s lips lingered on yours as he gave his final kiss his all. Bucky begrudgingly pulled himself away from you, picked up his suitcase, then went out the door without waking you or Steve._

_He never would have left your side,_

_Had he known the cruel plans of fate…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support it means the world to me~!! ♡\\(.◜ω◝.)/♡  
> Regarding chpt:  
> -I cried when I wrote this  
> -The quote for this chpt is by far one of my favs  
> -I fucking cRIED when I wrote this  
> Next chpt will be up ASAP!  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!! :DD ♡♡♡


	6. Promises Made of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is to make you come back!” you hollered with a smile as you managed to choke back your tears.

 

_“…Leaving only trails of stardust._

_Your eyes could pierce hearts,_

_Leaving eternal scars of that moment,_

_Moments so bittersweet they linger upon_

_The tastebuds of those who dare glance._

_You, Stain eyes with curiosity_

_I dare not blink.”_

_― L.V. HALL_

_~_

 

     “We barely had time to say goodbye…” Steve somberly recalled.

     Your best friend stood behind you and held a flashlight so you could see what you were doing. You smiled to yourself as you remembered that moment somewhat differently.

_You woke with a jolt and panicked when you saw the empty space next to you._

_“That little...” you seethed with clenched teeth, but you refused to let him have his way. You shouted for Steve to wake up and dress himself then threw on something yourself. In a matter of seconds you and Steve were out the door and racing towards the docks._

_Bucky had just boarded the ship and stood on the deck (there was no more room inside the ship) when he heard a familiar voice shout his name. The ship jerked forward and began to move as he squinted to see who it was. Bucky’s eyes widened when he saw it was you and Steve sprinting towards the ship. He went to the railing of the ship to get closer to you but knew you wouldn’t make it in time, a majority of the dock was covered in giant metal crates. You yelled his name as you sprinted towards the boat and pushed through the sea of people waving goodbye to their loved ones. When the ship moved passed the floor of the docks Bucky knew it was too late; but he had always had a knack for underestimating you._

_You ran beside the ship and surprised everyone (including Bucky) when you jumped onto and climbed the towering mountain of crates with ease. Bucky was grinning ear to ear as he watched you athletically scale the tower of crates. He beamed with happiness when you had finally reached him but his smile vanished when you slapped him across the face._

_“That’s for leaving without saying goodbye you prick!” you bellowed as you ran on top of the crates and alongside the ship._

_Then you reached out and you roughly grabbed Bucky’s face then gave him a bruising kiss. When you pulled back, his lips parted in awe at you and the men around him wooted and cheered on as they watched your fiery exchange._

_“That’s to remember me by!”_

_“And this,” you yelled as you roughly pulled your lace ribbon from your hair and slammed it into Bucky’s face, "_ _Is to make you come back!” you hollered with a smile as you managed to choke back your tears._

_“Bring it back to me you jackass!” you bellowed as you jumped the final crate. Bucky smirked as he watched you stand, proud and tall on the final (and highest) crate. Your hair blew and swirled around you as the wind blew against your face._

_“(Y/N) (Y/L) will you marry me when I get back?” Bucky purposed with his hands cupped around his mouth, the ship had already left the dock and the distance between him and you was slowly growing._

_“Only if you give me back my ribbon asshole!”_

_“Then go pick a dress (Y/N) because your mine!” Bucky yelled, cocky and charming as ever. He had every intention of coming back and making you his for the rest of eternity._

_You laughed as you watched him and the ship sail away. Even though your heart was being ripped from your chest you continued to smile, wanting him to remember your smile instead of your tears._

_“You got yourself a wild one eh boy?” a crewmember teased Bucky as he held your ribbon close._

_“Wildest one there is, and she’ll be mine when I come back,” Bucky smirked as he turned to watch your shrinking form._

_You stood on the highest crate in the pile until the ship carrying your soon-to-be husband was completely out of sight. You closed your eyes and allowed the cool breeze to caress your face and dry your falling tears. When your tears had been spent and the ship was out of sight, you climbed down the mountain of crates then returned to Steve’s side._

_Your best friend hugged you and you returned the embrace before heading home. The two of you knew it was going to be heartbreaking to be without Bucky but you knew you’d make it. He had your ribbon and he made a promise. If there was one thing Bucky would never do, it was break his promises._

_You held a candle of hope in your heart that he would come back to you…_

_Who knew it would be snuffed out_

_In such a grotesquely cruel way…_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support~!! ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ ) //kisses!!  
> Regarding the Chpt:  
> -I've written a lot of fics in my day but I honestly think this chpt is my favorite of all time  
> Next Chpt will be up soon~!! \\(^0^)/


	7. Lying Letters and Caught Stowaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Experimentations and supers soldier serums were the last thing on your mind.

 

_“…When ill she feeds a poison,_

_To is all to feel her pain…”_

_-Alethea Kontis_

_ Enchanted _

 

_~_

How can a single memory be found, in such a broken mind?

     Bucky absorbed Steve’s every word. The defeated man clung to every sentence and hoped that somehow he could reassemble the shattered pieces of his fragmented mind. The defeated man kept his head down but looked at you from the corner of his eye. You were a rather strange but beautiful sight to behold. Your pretty clothes and sweet perfume stood in stark contrast to the hellish, ebony claws that extended from your fingers. You expertly moved them with precision and caution. One wrong move and your claws could easily slice Bucky’s arm or the machine could collapse on top of his metal limb. You were captivating and Bucky loathed himself for not remembering you…

      Steve helplessly watched as his best friend scoured his broken mind for the memory of you. Steve didn’t know what to do. He felt horrible and worthless. He couldn’t help Bucky remember you nor could he mend your bleeding heart. The only thing Steve could do was to continue talking to Bucky about their past. He hoped that maybe it would jog his best friend’s memory. Steve was willing to do anything to make Bucky remember you.

     “Lacie worked double, sometimes triple shifts at the docks plus extra jobs to support us but it wasn’t easy for her; both physically and emotionally.”

     “Then I was chosen for the super soldier project…” Steve’s voice trailed off as a wave of long possessed guilt washed over him.

     “But I never told Lacie…instead I…”

 

 

_Lied._

_Steve had always been an honest young man and you trusted him more than anyone so when he approached you saying that he had found a job at the newspaper press as an artist, you believed him._

_Experimentations and  supers soldier serums were the last thing on your mind._

_You made him two month’s worth of meals, sewed all his clothes, gave him a year’s supplies of his medication, and cried when he boarded the train and left you behind. Both your boys had left you. Never in your life had you been without them and never in your life had you felt so alone._

_The months that followed were a blur. Everything was bland but you always kept yourself occupied to keep your sadness and loneliness away._

_You had just sewed a shirt for a wealthy costumer (being a seamstress was one of your extra jobs) when you decided to check the mail. You looked through the letters (which were mainly bills) but gasped when you saw a letter from Steve. You immediately opened it and cried when you saw his pretty handwriting and read his sweet words. You kissed the letter when you had finished and was about to head back inside until you saw the address on the envelope._

_“ENGLAND!?” you shrieked in rage. “What the hell is he doing in-“_

_“That piece of shit.”_

_Steve had gone to war as well? BEHIND YOUR BACK!?_ _Then you finally snapped._

_You had had enough of moping around and doing nothing! Both your boys were fighting in the war and both were complete and utter idiots. Your boys needed you!_

_With that in mind, you sold all your furniture, the apartment, and everything you couldn’t fit in a small bag. You dressed as a man and stowawayed on a cargo ship heading for England. What you were doing was utterly and totally insane, but you’d do anything for your boys._

 

     “Lacie followed us to Europe but HYDRA hijacked her ship. They took her…”

 

 

_You were sleeping in between two crates when you heard a siren go off. As soon as you came out of your hiding spot, an armed soldier wearing an all-black, bizarre looking uniform, grabbed you by the collar. Another soldier came to stand next to him and they spoke in a language you didn’t understand._

_When they had finished, they looked at you then hit you with the back of their gun. You fell to the metal floor with a harsh thud. You looked up at your attackers and saw a symbol of a red skull with tentacles coming out from the bottom on their uniform;_

_Then everything went black._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the love and support! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧   
> Regarding the Chpt:  
> -Headcanon that Steve is a hella shitty liar and always gets caught!  
> -Things are going to heat up from here on so get ready!!  
> Next Chpt will be up ASAP! Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!! :DD


	8. Farewell My Beloved Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their screams only fueled your savage lust for blood and you showed no mercy to the monsters that had made you suffer.

 

_‘Why should I apologize for the monster I've become?_

_No one ever apologized for making me this way.’_

_\- The Joker_

_~_

_You had been born with a body made of steel and a heart made of diamond,_

_But even the hardest of metals burn in hellfire._

     “They tried to recreate the super soldier serum you and I were given Buck,” Steve somberly spoke. You could hear the hatred and regret in his voice.

     You prided yourself in keeping your hands steady. The memories of what HYDRA had done to you still kept you up at night. It’d make your skin crawl and you wanted nothing more than to escape the memories but they had been burned into your mind and there was nothing you could do about it. Those bastards had taken so much from you, including any dreams of a normal and peaceful life. Steve could see your body fighting against itself to keep steady. He knew how triggering the topic was for you but you silently urged him to continue. Both of you were desperate to resurrect Bucky’s memories of you.

     “But when they couldn’t, they tried something else…”

 

_It happened so fast that to this day, you still can’t make sense of it all. You remember being dragged towards a metal, coffin-like, confinement and fighting with all your might to break free from your captors’ hold._

_You fought back when they used leather belts to tie you down to a black table. You panicked when you saw them lower a row of needles towards your arms and abdomen. A shrill scream ripped itself from your throat when the needles pierced your skin and injected a jet black liquid into your body. You writhed and pulled against your restrains to escape the pain but your attempts were fruitless._

_You screamed and cursed when the table suddenly tilted backwards and went inside the confinement. A thick door closed in front of you, leaving you to suffer in complete darkness._

_An ear-piercing shriek ripped itself from your throat and echoed through your coffin when you suddenly felt yourself being consumed by flames. You burned for what seemed like hours then the temperature in the confinement abruptly dropped to below freezing temperatures. The air was sucked from your lungs as your blood froze and you quickly lost all feeling in your limbs._

_Your senses dulled and bile rose in your throat when you suddenly felt a pressure crush you from all sides. It crushed your bones and busted every organ in your body. You prayed for death to take you as your body uncontrollably spasmed then contracted then hardened again and again in an endless cycle of torture._

_You fell silent when you felt something cold and hard slowly encase your skin. Then you went insane. An animalistic fury sent you into a state of hysteria._

_The leather belts snapped when you moved and from your fingers came long and deathly sharp claws which you used to shred your way out of your would-be coffin .You shrieked as you clawed away at the thick metal around you and in a matter of seconds you finally broke free._

_You hurled yourself out of the accursed cage and immediately felt a barrage of bullets assault your skin. You barely felt them, a thick black layer of rock covered your skin and they’re pathetic bullets bounced off your skin._ _You shrieked at the soldiers and the people in white coats before lunging towards them and slicing them to ribbons with your mighty claws. Their screams only fueled your savage lust for blood and you showed no mercy to the monsters that had made you suffer._

_Although the black rock that covered your skin protected you, you were in immense pain. Your muscles spasmed, your blood burned, and your bones throbbed as you fought and ran through the metal building in search of an exit. Your screams drowned out your victim’s._

_A siren blared through the building and the soldiers were endless. You were growing impatient so instead of searching for an exit, you made one._

_Turning to the nearest metal wall, you rose your hand then began savagely clawing away at the steel. In a matter of seconds, you had shredded the thick steel wall to pieces, escaped the compound, then bolted into the darkness of night._

_You aimlessly ran through the thick forest that surrounded you. You didn’t know where you were going nor did you care. All you cared about was getting as far away from that hellhole as possible. Your shrieks of agony pierced through the silence of the night and even though part of you knew you should be quiet, the pain tearing your body apart kept you from thinking rationally._

_You ran for what felt like hours until you reached another facility. You screeched in horror when you saw it. Flashbacks of what you had suffered in the previous one flooded your mind and sent you into a frenzy. A group of soldiers had heard your screams and rushed to attack you but they never stood a chance against you. You were burning with an animalistic rage and your gut told you to take it out on them. A part of you hesitated but as soon as you saw a familiar red symbol on their black uniform, you through all human compassion out the window._

_They would pay dearly,_

_For creating a monster without a conscious._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your lovely messages my lovelies~!!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*   
> Regarding the Chpt:  
> -So I did a LOT of research and learned that Obsidian (the rock that covers Reader's skin) is a volcanic glass that is created in extreme heat then freezing temperatures and pressure so that's what the experimentation procedure was about. Look up pics of Obsidian it's a super pretty rock!  
> -I myself am a bit queasy when it comes to needles so I tried to focus more on the pain of the procedure that the icky needles  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!!! ♥(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)♥


	9. The Nightmare's Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve yelled his best friend’s name again but his azure eyes widened when he saw a shadow bolting down the hallway behind Bucky, sprinting straight towards him.

 

_If your demons_

_Were wildfires_

_I would burn my hands_

_To conquer them._

_—What I would give to save you from this_

_~_

 

     The pressure of your current situation was beginning to take a toll on you. You didn’t know how long you had until the government and its soldier’s came. You didn’t know if there was more than one escape route. You didn’t know if the metal of the machine would snap and destroy Bucky’s arm. You didn’t even know if you could save him…

     Anxiety began to eat away at your insides. You had to stop your hands because you could feel them shaking and because you knew that one slip up could cost Bucky his arm. You bit your lip and took deep breaths to relax your erratic heartbeat. Your thoughts were racing and your head was spinning. Your gaze settled on your ebony claws. You had grown them out to ten inches and finned their tips to a string-like thickness to insure your precision was spot on. It was strange. You weren’t used to seeing your claws like this. You were used to your thick, jagged, eighteen inch claws. You were used to savagely ripping flesh from bone and shredding steel walls to ribbons. You had grown used to the unparalleled power you possessed; but you had never felt any glory nor did you feel any pride…

     In the beginning you were scared of yourself. It wasn’t something you spoke of often since you knew no one would understand. Truth be told, you were still a bit frightened by the power you possessed but you had learned how to live and manage it. It took years on the front lines of a world war for you to perfect it.

     Back during the World War, the higher ups had told you that you would be the key to wiping HYDRA off the map. They never wanted you, they wanted your powers. They wanted the black volcanic rock that flowed in your veins. You weren’t a person to them; you were a weapon.

     They never wanted your skin to return to human flesh because human flesh could not withstand bullets. They wanted a weapon that didn’t have an ‘off’ button.

     To this day you hated them for it. They didn’t understand. No one could ever understand what it was like. What it was like not to have complete control over your body. To be in so much pain that your mind shuts down and animalistic survival instincts control your every action. To be in such agony that you perceive everything as a threat and feel the need to kill everything that moves just to feel safe…

     Time had faded your memories of the War but one thing you could never forget was how much you screamed and how easily killing came to you in that monstrous form…

 

 

_You jerked out your fingers and from them came long, deathly sharp claws. You screeched as you leapt over the high barbwire fence and impaled your first victim then twirled around and ripped through the flesh and guns of the other three._

_More and more soldiers surrounded you but you killed them all with ease. As you fought and killed the accursed guards, you unknowingly headed deeper and deeper into the compound. They fired at you from all angles but their bullets bounced off of the thick layer of black rock covering your skin. Seeing that their bullets did nothing, one soldier decided to try something different._

_Your lethal claws had just penetrated a soldier’s chest when you saw a flash of blue from the corner of your eye. Before you could react, you felt a violent blast to your side that sent you flying backwards. You fell to the hard dirt ground but quickly regained your footing. You heard a soft crackle then looked down at your abdomen and gasped. The blue energy blast had damaged the ebony rock covering the side of your stomach, thin cracks covered the once sleek rock. You quickly dodged another blast of the harmful blue energy and without thinking, you ripped the broken rock from your abdomen. A new layer quickly covered your exposed skin but before it could encase your vulnerable flesh, a bullet shot straight through your stomach. You roared in pain and lunged forward to kill the soldier that had shot you._

_Within seconds you were surrounded by more soldiers who had abandoned their normal guns and rearmed themselves with the guns that fired the blue energy blasts. Knowing that you couldn’t win against their guns, you bolted in the opposite direction. You were running straight for the compound but you didn’t have a choice._

_You ripped the metal doors from its hinges then bolted inside just in time to avoid being shot. You sprinted through the maze-like compound and immediately regretted entering the hellhole. You were lost and the first floor of the facility was crawling with soldiers. They shot at you but you evaded their attacks by sinking your claws into the metal walls and climbing up to the second story of the facility._

_Everything was going well until an explosion went off inside the compound. Then another, then another. When the fifth explosion shook the building, you realized it was going to self-destruct. Panic propelled your body forward as you ran through the second level of the compound. You failed to feel the flames seeping through the metal holes of the floor beneath you. You knew you were running out of time._

_You were just about to turn a corner but stopped dead in your tracks when you heard two familiar voices. They pulled at something deep within you. When you heard the familiar sound again, you felt the frenzy in your mind lessen and stirred what little humanity you had left in you. The building was shaking and falling apart but you abandoned your search for an exit to run in the direction of the voices._

_“Not without you!” Bucky hollered at the top of his lungs._

_A pit of flames stood between his best friend and certain death. Steve was about to make the leap when suddenly the railing of the floor Bucky was on shook. Bucky clung to the scorching metal of the railing but knew that the floor beneath him wasn’t going to hold. Bucky looked down at the roaring flames below him and thought of the canary yellow dress you had worn when the two of you went on your first date together. He heard Steve yell his name but Bucky closed his eyes and replayed every memory he had of you._

_Steve yelled his best friend’s name again but his azure eyes widened when he saw a shadow bolting down the hallway behind Bucky, sprinting straight towards him. Then the metal floor finally gave way…_

_Bucky’s eyes shot open when he heard someone running towards him. He quickly turned and before he could move, a shadow leapt out of the hall and descended towards Bucky. The metal railing he was standing on plummeted towards the inferno awaiting him and the soldier did nothing when the shadow reached out and pulled Bucky to its chest. It wrapped its arms and legs around him and covered his body then turned so that it was them who would fall into the flames first. He heard the shadow speak, its voice reminded him of someone he loved more than anything but he wrote it off as a hallucination. But how he cherished hearing those words as he fell towards the flames;_

_“Only for you doll.”_

_His fellow soldiers had pulled him from the burning building but Steve had never wanted to leave. He felt numb and empty but his mourning was cut short when he and his rescued teammates were ambushed by HYDRA’s soldiers._

_Steve and his team were no match for HYDRA’s massive guns and tanks. Things weren’t looking good but before he could give out an order, a tank exploded. All hell broke loose when the smoke from the exploded tank surrounded them, the lack of visibility only heighten the hysteria. With only the dim light of dawn to help them, the rescued soldiers fought with little visibility. They fought in unison until a symphony of screams, the sound of flesh tearing from bone, and metal being shredded frightened them. They stopped shooting but the sounds of HYDRAs forces being taken out continued._

_Then there was silence._

_As the smoke dissipated, a silhouette of a lone figure stood on top of a chunk of a broken tank. It was hunched over as it panted for air. Its long and nightmarish claws dripped with blood while it held a limp figure in its right arm. The men stood paralyzed in fear when the smoke cleared and the monstrous figure became completely visible. Steve’s eyes widened when he saw the body the creature held._

_“Bucky…?”_

_The sound of your beloved’s name triggered something deep within you. The terrified men pointed their guns at you when an ear-piercing scream ripped itself from your scorched throat. The process of the ebony rock seeping back into your skin was agonizing but eventually you had managed to retract it. Only your claws remained intact._

_“(Y/N)?!”_

_You looked up at the man who had called your name and tried to focus on the commotion around you but your senses began to dull as exhaustion finally claimed your body. You looked down at your beloved’s unconscious form laying in your arms. You smiled as you gently brushed the hair from his face with your blood soaked claws. When your body had reached its limit, you collapsed on Bucky and savored the familiarity of his body against yours._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support~!! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧  
> More is on the way. Right now I'm SUPER busy as far as writing goes, I'm working on more chpts for TTAFH, my one shot series, TDWS, and my Pacific Rim/Avengers crossover series! It's a lot so I'll be updating many different chpts this week!  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!! ٩(●˙▿˙●)۶…⋆ฺ


	10. Distorted Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You flinched at the sight of the grotesque monstrosity and to your horror; it flinched as well.

 

_Monsters are born of pain and grief and loss and anger._

_—Jim Butcher, The Dresden Files_

_~_

     You took a deep breath in hopes of steading the beating of your erratic heart. You did your best to forget the traumatic memories of your past but memories of suffering are hard to forget.

 

 

_Nightmares of the brutal experimentations and the pain tearing your body apart cell by cell made you beg for release. You squirmed then panicked when you realized you were tied down to a hard bed. The brutal physical agony tearing your body apart made it hard to distinguish reality from hallucination; the only thing you knew to be real was pain._

_You were completely disoriented but you managed to tear yourself from the restraints holding you to the bed. Your senses were dull but you were able to see the four blank walls of the poorly lit room you were in. Your weakened legs struggled to keep you standing and your head throbbed like mad but when you looked down, you saw a small splatter of smeared blood on the cold concrete floor. You shrieked in panic then stumbled backwards and in the process, you bumped into a nightstand holding a jug of water. Your head throbbed when it shattered and you lost your balance but froze in place when you saw something terrifying reflecting in the spilt water._

_A monster._

_Its face and entire body was made of black rock with elegant swirls and designs of embellishment all over. Its face was like a mask the doctors during the Black Plague used but the beak sloped downwards. It had feathers of embellished black rock extending from the back of the scalp, making it look like it had a halo of black feathers and made the monster look all the more terrifying._

_You flinched at the sight of the grotesque monstrosity and to your horror; it flinched as well. You rose your hand to touch your face and the nightmare mimicked your action. Then the realization hit you._

_The nightmarish creature was you._

_You quickly looked down at your hands. Human flesh had been replaced with jagged black rock and from your fingers extended long, horrifically, sharp claws._

_An ear piercing scream tore itself from your throat when you felt your bones twist and your organs shift inside your breaking body. You fell to the floor with a harsh thud and although it hurt to move, you were powerless to still your body as it withered in pain. You could feel your lungs twist and spasm and your vision began to blur as you gasped for air._

_The pain had distorted your senses but you heard a heavy metal door behind you open. With your remaining strength, you turned your head to the side to see whose mercy you were at and prayed they’d show you mercy._

_Five armed soldiers hesitantly approached your breaking and splintering body. A woman with pretty brunette hair rushed to your side and knelt down beside you. The soldiers kept their distance from you but the woman seemed unfazed by your hideous form. You saw her red lips move and vaguely heard her heavily accented words but was unable to comprehend them. She reached out to touch you then your body went limp and you lost consciousness._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! \\(^0^)/  
> Regarding Chpt:  
> -So I added a link in the actual story of what the Reader's mask looks like. Idk how I feel about doing that so I'm experimenting with it. There's a pretty good chance I will not be doing that in future chpts though  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!! :DD


	11. The Sweetness of Human Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t you ever, EVER think you have to enter a fight by yourself. You’re never alone.”

 

_And I sometimes think that a moment of touching,_

_Is the difference between complete utter despair,_

_And the ability to carry on_

_― Eleanor Cameron,_

_ The Court of Stone Children _

_~_

_There are good doctors and there are bad…_

     Both you and Steve remembered what happened after you and Bucky had returned to friendly territory, but neither of you told Bucky. It was something all three of you wanted to forget. You were many things but a lab rat wasn’t one of them.

 

 

_“For the last time, the answer is no!” a familiar voice boomed._

_“Captain please, only one vile, that’s all we need...”_

_“Don’t you dare touch her! She isn’t your experimental subject she’s a human being and she will be treated as such!” another familiar voice roared._

_“Sargent, the higher ups said-“_

_“To hell with what they said!” the second voice bellow._

_“But they won’t-“_

_“Then I’ll make them,” the first voice growled._

_You heard someone being grabbed then a thick metal door open. Two people exited the room and the heavy door slammed shut behind them._

_You heard the remaining person huff in frustration then walk towards you. A wooden chair scraped against the cement floor as they seated themselves by your side. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness so you didn’t know who they were but their presence stirred something deep within you._

_You could hear them smile. You slightly parted your lips when they stroked your cheek. You knew that touch but immediately flinched, terrified that you were still in your monstrous form. You rubbed your fingers together and was relieved to feel warm human flesh and not cold, ebony stone._

_“Don’t worry (Y/N), I’ll never let those bastards hurt you,” they promised. Then you recognized the voice. Your beloved’s voice brought you back to the clarity of reality._

_“You better wash your mouth with soap before you kiss me you asshole,” you teased in a raspy voice._

_Your words grabbed your beloved’s attention and he jerked his head to look at you. Bucky looked down at you and brightly smiled as tears formed in his eyes._

_“Only for you doll,” he shakily replied as he leaned down to cup your face._

_Within seconds his lips were on yours. The kiss was feverish and heavy with pent up desire for each other’s touch. The months you and Bucky had been apart fueled the fires of the passion that had set your bodies ablaze. Bucky’s lips glided and danced with yours, not breaking the kiss when he moved to straddle you on the bed. You whined when he pulled back to look down at you. His pupils had fully dilated, evidence of his desire for you. Tears formed in your eyes as you drank in the sight of his rugged appearance. Your Bucky was usually always clean shaven but the stubble that ghosted his jaw made him all the more handsome and made your body temperature skyrocket._

_His lips reconnected with yours and you shamelessly roamed your hands all over his body, relishing the feeling of his now significantly larger muscles. You couldn’t help but smirk in satisfaction when he softly moaned at your touch but he quickly decided it was your turn._

_You broke the kiss with a half gasp half moan as Bucky slipped his hand up the back of your thigh. You immediately pulled him closer to your pleasure stricken body, burring your fingers in his hair. The white gown you wore slid up your body as Bucky continued to stroke the back of your thigh. You whimpered when he slid his hand to stroke the flesh of your clothed hip then-_

_“Honestly you’d think they’d at least-“ Steve stopped midsentence when he saw the immodest scene in front of him._

_Bucky quickly grabbed you then pulled you into his lap, using his body to cover you as you hastily pulled down and smoothed the white hospital gown you wore._

_“Knock next time you punk,” Bucky growled at Steve’s shocked form._

_You gasped when you realized it was Steve and quickly looked over Bucky’s shoulder to look at him. The sickly boy you once knew was now completely unrecognizable._

_“Steve…?” you questioned in disbelief. One smile was all you needed to know it was really him._

_“Steve!” you happily exclaimed with tears of relief forming in your eyes._

_You jumped from Bucky’s lap and ran towards your best friend. Your weak legs gave out but Steve quickly caught you. You looked down at your intertwined hands and gasped in disbelief at how big his hands were._

_“Steve are you alright?” you exclaimed in concern as you cupped his cheeks. He looked down at you, smiled warmly then nodded._

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes (Y/N) I’m fine I promis- OW!” Steve winced as you tugged him down by his ear._

_“Steven Grant Rogers what were you thinking!? Not only lying to me but joining the war **WITHOUT TELLING ME!?** ” you roared as you tugged at his ear. Your ‘angry mother bear’ mode had been turned on and he was going to get the scolding of his life._

_“Honestly Steve I can’t let you out of my sight! Do you know what I need to get you!? A leash! Since you don’t know how to keep yourself out of trouble Steve! A LEASH”_

_You were panting when you had finished scolding Steve but your once burning rage was doused by the tears forming in your eyes. You reached up to gently cup his cheeks then tilted his head down to look at you._

_“Don’t you ever, EVER think you have to enter a fight by yourself. You’re never alone.”_

_“We’ll always have each other,” Bucky added as he placed his hand on the small of your back and the other on his best friend’s shoulder._

_“And I’ll always be here for my boys,” you promised with a smile as you wrapped your arms around Bucky and Steve and pulled them down to hug them. The friendship and love between the three of you was undying and eternal._

_You placed a kiss on both of their cheeks then pulled away to look at Steve._

_“Look at you Steve!” you beamed in amazement as you walked around him, examining his new ‘super soldier’ body._

_“Wow, looks like all my lasagnas finally worked!” you jested, causing Steve to chuckle and blush._

_He mentioned that it was nice to be taller and both you and Bucky laughed. Your happy reunion was cut short when you heard someone clear their throat. All three of you turned to the source of the sound, then your eyes widened in horror._

_The woman’s smile was lovely and although you had been disoriented, you immediately recognized her as the woman from earlier. You bore no ill will towards her but she had seen you in...that monstrous form. The thought of someone seeing you in that form made you insanely uncomfortable and anxious. Your heart stopped at the thought of your boys seeing you in that hellish state. Your hands began to shake at the thought, you’d rather die than have them see you as that horrific creature._

_“Hello Miss (Y/L) I’m Agent Carter,” she pleasantly greeted with heavily accented words._

_She smiled as she outstretched her hand for you to shake but you frigidly stood still and took in everything she said._

_First of all, she knew your last name and you hoped it was because Steve or Bucky told her and secondly, she called herself an ‘agent’. Which meant you were in a facility owned and run by the American government. The knowledge of that was both comforting and terrifying._

_After an awkward pause you reached out then shook her hand. You surprisingly managed to smile back at her. ‘Agent Carter’ was about to say something when the door behind her opened. Your hands began to tremble when a soldier stepped in then whispered something to her. Your throat when dry when they looked at you. Sensing your fear, Bucky took your shaking hand and held it in his, he gave you a reassuring squeeze which helped ease your growing fears._

_Agent Carter approached you and although she was able to keep a nonchalant expression, you could see the apologetic look in her eyes._

 

_You dreaded what life had in store for you…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing a lot right now so expect a bunch of chpts to be posted at the same time haha ^^;;  
> No promises on when since I have some tests coming up! ;m;  
> Regarding the Chpt:  
> -Bucky, Reader, and Steve have a HELLA strong bond and will play a big part in future chpts  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know what you thought~!!! :DD

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my darlings~!!  
> Thank you so much for reading! ♥（ﾉ´∀`）
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel related, nor do I own you the reader, (all of you are lovely, strong, and independent!!)  
> I own nothing but my writing which is a work of fiction.


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